The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14
I’ve always been drawn to this bible verse. It’s one I heard often in my Catholic upbringing. However, it wasn’t until I faced the daunting battle of addiction that I finally understood the power and faith behind those words.
There’s a sticky note under our bathroom mirror that our daughter, Emma placed there in 2016 after we brought her home from Shand’s Children’s Hospital in Gainesville, FL. You see, Emma was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when she was 17. By the grace and mercy of God, she fought that battle and won. We are so humbly grateful for her miracle.
The fact that it was Emma who notated Exodus 14:14 on that small yellow square and taped it to the wall beneath the bathroom mirror wasn’t lost on us. Still, it took me almost an entire year of seeing that note before the words hit home enough for me to acknowledge that I needed to face my own demons.
By then, I’d battled an eating disorder and alcoholism on and off for nearly three decades. In the months between Emma’s homecoming and my husband driving me to Orlando, FL to enter the hospital, my life had taken a very dark and dangerous turn.
Over the course of my time in treatment and in the first months following, I would return to that verse over and over again. It was my daily reminder that God was indeed fighting for me, beside me, and with me every step of my journey.
During the first year of recovery, it became my battlecry when Hurricane Michael devastated the panhandle of Florida where we live. I repeated it constantly, prayed fervently, and relied on God’s strength to sustain me in my recovery moment-by-moment. He did not fail me. He fought for me every step of the way.
I’ve been in recovery for almost five years now, and that bible verse is still my stalwart shield. I repeat it to myself constantly throughout the day. It stills me, centers me, and places my focus back on God where it belongs. More than that, it reminds me that God is in control at all times and that I no longer need to worry or fear.
And that yellow note that Emma taped to the bathroom wall? It’s still there. A poignant reminder of all He’s seen us through and the miracles He continues to bless us with.