GOD HEARD MY CRY AND ANSWERED

For over thirty years, I suffered in the darkness of my own making until my reality became a prison. One I’d locked with my own hands. 

My voice came as a whisper rather than a shout, but God heard my cry and answered me.

My fall from grace was gradual.

Small choices that led to bigger ones with even bigger consequences. A constant search for peace that always alluded me. In my disillusionment, I sought respite in the bottle, in my drive for perfection, and in my overwhelming need for escape. 

Alcohol went from being an occasional occurrence to a daily thirst. The eating disorder that began in my teens became my barometer. I measured my worth by the numbers on the scale and the image staring back at me every time I glanced in a mirror. 

My search for satisfaction led me down broken paths to nowhere. Until there was nothing left but darkness and wreckage all around me. 

I was locked in a prison I’d built with my own two hands.

The price for all the destructive choices I’d made was now a cage no amount of alcohol, no number on a scale, no momentary pleasure could help me escape.

Falling to my knees was the last thing I deserved, but the only thing I had left. The only thing I had not tried.

In a dark hospital room on a cold floor, I cried and finally reached up. My prayers were a whispered longing for peace. Would God even hear me? Was I too lost to be found? Too unworthy to be chosen?

When I finally called out to Him, God heard my cry and answered. He met me in that prison. Not with condemnation, but with unfailing love. “I’ve been waiting,” He whispered. “I am here.” 

And He was. I felt Him. Knew Him. Longed to be held safe in His arms. He held me. Not after I’d fulfilled some unspoken requirement, but immediately and fully. It was as instant as my next breath. “I am here.”

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God Heard My Cry and Answered

He met me in the darkness,

When I had lost my way.

Wrapped His arms around me, 

As I began to pray.

For so long my soul had wandered,

through the vast valley of death,

where fear and doubt consumed me,

where I stumbled without rest.

Unsure if I was worthy

to even call His name.

Yet, the moment that I reached for Him,

He immediately came.

His hands were gentle on my face,

As He turned my eyes to Him.

“Beloved, I’ve been waiting,

Your life can now begin.

I’ve watched you battle demons,

not meant to fight alone.

Watched you toil and suffer,

so far away from home.

Rest your head upon Me.

I will fight for you.

Take these burdens from you.

Lead you to the truth.

I have always been here.

I’ve never left your side.

Patiently, I’ve waited.

I’ve heard your every cry.

My mercy is sufficient,

My grace now covers you.

Arise and walk in faithfulness,

I will see you through.

The rest you have been seeking,

Is only found in me.

Walk through the door I’ve opened,

for I have set you free.”

JN Fenwick (©2026)

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Freedom isn’t found in the world.

It isn’t found in our justifications or self-fulfillment. Freedom is only found in trusting in the One who made us—the One who loves us with an everlasting love and who draws us with unfailing kindness, Jeremiah 31:3. 

I KNOW. Because the moment I sought Him, God heard my cry and answered me. He filled me with the peace I’d searched for, removed the chains holding me, and with unfailing love, set me free.

For those suffering in the chains of addiction, alcoholism, depression, or facing any battle that draws you away from God’s everlasting love, I pray you find the strength and the will to cry out to Him. He is waiting with unfailing kindness and mercy to set you free. Amen.

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The Everlasting Love of God

I have loved you with an everlasting LOVE.

Drawn you with unfailing KINDNESS.

I have given you the STRENGTH you need,

to prosper and bear witness,

to My abiding FAITHFULNESS,

and the TRUTH found in My WORD.

By Me, you have been CHOSEN,

to overcome the world.

I have placed My SPIRIT in you,

to GUARD and give you PEACE.

To lead you to the STILLNESS

and the respite that you seek.

TRUST in Me in all things.

Follow My COMMANDS.

I am the CORNERSTONE of FAITH,

the ROCK on which you stand.

There is no fear in My LOVE.

In Me, you are made WHOLE.

I stand beside you always.

Turn to Me and KNOW.

I have loved you with an everlasting LOVE.

Drawn you with unfailing KINDNESS.

Come, follow in My footsteps,

And I will give you rest.

AMEN

JN Fenwick (©2026)

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JN Fenwick | mothjournal14 | ©2026 | All rights reserved. | I DO NOT WALK THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY ALONE.

I’m JN Fenwick

Wife, mom, but more importantly, a recovering alcoholic with a grateful heart. For years, I struggled, not just with alcohol, but with an eating disorder and the burdens of guilt and shame. On March 22, 2018, I surrendered my life to Christ. I was 51. God did not forsake me. He welcomed me, as undeserving as I am. He did not see my brokenness. Instead, He saw my potential. My Recovery Journey is one of Faith. From the ashes of my failures, God built a fire in me. A fire that guides each step I take. My journey is yours. My healing can be yours, too. God is a mighty warrior. You can take comfort in the promise that the Lord will fight for you and grant you peace.