WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

I did things my way for a long time, believing it was the only way. Afraid to relinquish control, I fought for the wrong things, made bad choices, and suffered the consequences. Then, one day, I realized I had nothing left to lose. So, I took a chance on faith.

There’s no greater fool than the one who continues to make the same choices, expecting different results.

That was me.

It’s any of us who suffer from addiction, alcoholism, eating disorders, or any other self-inflicted abuse.

We blame others, the world, the past, our circumstances, and even life for our misery. We try to drown our anger, inability to cope, fear, and ourselves in a bottle, in oblivion, in our relentless pursuit of escape.

What are we escaping from? Our unhappiness. Why are we unhappy? There’s a multitude of scenarios, but only one real reason: our expectations.

There’s a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): Expectations are premeditated resentments.

When we expect a certain result and it fails to come to fruition, resentment follows.

Resentment clouds our judgment and hinders our ability to think and behave logically and unemotionally. It also keeps us locked in the destructive cycle of addiction.

There’s a better way.

A way that relies on hope rather than expectation, acceptance rather than escape, and faith over fear.

The only way I know this is because I finally chose it.

It’s right there. Open to all of us. What’s more, it’s not the hard, unattainable, complicated thing we make it out to be. But, oh, how it heals. How it frees. How it transforms.

All you have to do is take the first step. The hardest step, sure, but the most necessary one.

You’ve done it your way until now. What have you got to lose?

I’ll tell you.

What have you got to lose? Fear.

Fear is our greatest enemy. It paralyzes us. More significantly, it lies to us.

Fear tells us we’re not good enough, strong enough, worthy enough. It assures us we’ll never be happy, never know peace. It convinces us we’ll never break the chains of our addiction. That we’ll never know forgiveness or freedom.

Fear is a liar.

Faith is the opposite of fear.

Scripture tells us that faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see, Hebrews | 11:1.

When we take that first step or leap of faith, we put our hope into action.

We say, “God, I trust Your promises to protect, grow, and love me. I will no longer rely on myself but on You. My focus will no longer be on the world, but on eternity.”

First, we have to acknowledge our weakness. Our lust for control is our most destructive one.

Then, we have to relinquish all of it, the good, bad, and ugly; our past, present, and future; everything we are, to the Lord. We have to say it and mean it.

More importantly, we have to live it.

The moment we do, fear loses its hold on us. We’re no longer limited by it. Nor are we victims of the lies it perpetrates.

Without the constant barrage of fear dominating our thoughts and lives, we open ourselves to endless possibilities.

What have you got to lose? Shame.

Shame is a destructive emotion. It’s much different than guilt because it convinces us that we’re unworthy. That our failures and sins are irredeemable.

Shame leaves us powerless because it tells us we’re already lost. That there’s nowhere for us to go.

Shame was my greatest enemy.

I couldn’t rise above it, so I sank deeper into it.

Escaping it was my only choice, temporary as it was. Shame followed me. It perpetuated my destructive choices and behaviors.

When you believe yourself to be truly unworthy, what’s the point? Why change? Shame is a liar, too.

Scripture tells us that God removes shame and replaces it with honor. “I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth,” Zephaniah | 3:19.

God sent His Son to conquer our sin and shame. To conquer death.

Christ suffered and died for us.

At my lowest, I believed I was unworthy of Christ’s sacrifice. I thought my sin was too great and my shame too deep.

How arrogant and self-serving it was to think that God’s forgiveness and mercy couldn’t reach me?

God’s love is so much greater than our shame.

Letting go of shame means accepting redemption.

Shame no longer controls me. I embrace forgiveness, accepting the things I can’t change, the past, the choices already made, and the sins already committed. Giving them to God, He so readily welcomes me.

I grow spiritually and faithfully because I seek His word and His will. I’m not perfect, but my longing to serve Him and to do right is increased through Him.

Without the bondage of shame controlling us, we open ourselves to healing and redemption through faith.

What have you got to lose? Your addiction.

Addiction comes in many forms.

For me, it was alcohol, over-exercising, anorexia, and bulimia. It was my constant need to be in control. That need led to so many horrible, destructive choices. The cycle was brutal, and I was powerless. I believed the lies. That I couldn’t, wouldn’t, ever overcome my addictions was the biggest lie of all.

Fed by my fear, shame, resentment, anger, and doubt, my addictions held all the power. Or so I believed. I was wrong.

There’s someone so much greater than I, than any of us, who waits patiently for us.

Time and again, we rely on our strength when it will never be enough. The moment we place our trust in God is the moment we start to heal.

Until we do, we’ll continue to suffer.

There’s no shortcut or alternate route. The work has to be done. Breaking the cycle of addiction isn’t easy. But, with God, we are gifted with an endless source of strength, mercy, and grace. He fights for us and with us.

The Lord intercedes when we’re weak and conquers what we can’t hope to overcome on our own.

I share this with you from a place of knowing. I’ve been sober, healthy, and free for almost eight years. In all this time, I have not stepped off the path of recovery, the path of faith, God placed me on years ago. Nor have I wanted to.

I’ve experienced loss, pain, and grief during this time. I’ve had moments when I’ve worried and been scared. But the overwhelming fear and shame that once consumed me have never returned. I know freedom and peace that surpasses all understanding. By the grace of God, I know.

And so, I tell you with the greatest confidence and gratitude, God and God alone is the answer. You can’t overcome without Him. You won’t know freedom, peace, or healing until you turn to Him and trust in Him completely.

He’s already paved the way for your salvation; you need only drink from the well of life He’s provided.

What have you got to lose?

---

JN Fenwick (© 2024-2025) | mothjournal14 | All rights reserved. | I DO NOT WALK THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY ALONE.

I’m JN Fenwick.

Wife, mom, but more importantly, a recovering alcoholic with a grateful heart. For years, I struggled, not just with alcohol, but with an eating disorder and the burdens of guilt and shame. On March 22, 2018, I surrendered my life to Christ. I was 51. God did not forsake me. He welcomed me, as undeserving as I am. He did not see my brokenness. Instead, He saw my potential. My Recovery Journey is one of Faith. From the ashes of my failures, God built a fire in me. A fire that guides each step I take. My journey is yours. My healing can be yours, too. God is a mighty warrior. You can take comfort in the promise that the Lord will fight for you and grant you peace. | Exodus 14:14.