IT WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION

I was sitting in a church pew with my sister when she asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks.

It was a simple question. But it reached into the darkness with a light I couldn’t ignore.

For years, shame fed me a lie.

You’re not worthy.

Grace is for everyone but you.

I was sitting in a church pew with my sister. A woman of deep faith who’s dedicated her life to reaching people in their most difficult moments. As a social worker, a hospice counselor, and an addictions counselor, she walks into their brokenness and shines Christ’s light.

It was Good Friday. She’d invited me to attend the Stations of the Cross. I went. After, we sat in the silence of the church side by side. She took my hand and asked me to look at the cross on which our Savior hung. Then she asked me a question I couldn’t immediately answer.

“Jen,” she said, “He died for you. Who are you, then, to question His grace?”

That question landed in my heart like a stone.

Who WAS I to question God’s grace? Grace, He’d already poured out.

Grace that offered to meet me where I was and transform me even before I asked.

My sister’s words echoed the cross. My hesitancy reinforced the lie. Her testimony broke through the barrier. Her words moved me toward the cross; toward grace. Not because I believed I was worthy, but because Christ’s sacrifice had already ensured that I was.

The enemy feeds the lie.

Christ went to the Cross to point to the TRUTH: “We are saved by Grace through Faith,” Ephesians 2:8.

He never asked me to make myself worthy before I came. He simply asked me to come.

How often do we shy away from grace?

Maybe we’re afraid we’ll be found lacking. Maybe we’re afraid of what we’ll be called to do? Or maybe we’re just more comfortable with the lie?

I was for many years. Comfortable in my shame because it allowed me to continue living in the addiction that offered escape.

I didn’t want to look in the mirror. I knew what I’d see, and I was afraid of having to own all my brokenness.

We think we’re hiding. Christ sees us, all of us. The brokenness, the sin, and the fear. He knows our story before we come and calls us anyway.

The Bible is filled with broken people God used for His glory. He didn’t wait for them to be clean; He called them, dirt and all, into His service and used their weaknesses to build strength. He replaced their fear with faith and their despair with hope.

That’s what grace does. It sees past who we are and transforms us into everything God created us to be.

Grace is an invitation to surrender.

To come before the LORD, baggage and all, and to say, “LORD, I am unworthy to receive You, but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed,” Matthew 8:8.

Grace heals what we cannot.

There’s nothing we can do to earn it. It’s a gift freely given. Paid for by a Savior who willingly sacrificed Himself for us. He bore the cross, took the nails, and died the death we deserved.

We can never earn the grace He poured out His life to earn for us. But we can bend before Him and surrender our lives to Him. We can accept the grace He offers, the grace He earned before we ever came.

That’s the beauty of the cross.

So maybe the question isn’t, “Am I worthy.

Maybe the question is the same one my sister asked me: “Who am I, LORD, to question Your grace?”

I know where my answer led me and the freedom and healing it gives. I’ve lived in that freedom for almost nine years.

The grace that welcomed me is waiting for you too. My prayer is that you reach for it, even if you feel unworthy.

Come as you are to the cross. Kneel before the Savior who hung there for you.

He’s waiting to welcome you just as you are.

The darkness tried to claim me,

Jesus was the Light,

that covered my transgressions,

and opened my closed eyes.

He did not wait to greet me,

He met me as I was,

called me to the Cross He bore,

and reached for me with Love.

The chains that held me captive,

were no match for His Grace.

He freed me from my prison,

and paid for my disgrace.

Salvation covered every sin

that told me I had failed.

His Mercy reached my battered soul,

from the Cross where He was nailed.

The wreckage of my former life,

met the power of the One,

who gave His life to save my soul

despite all that I’d done.

The moment I surrendered,

His Presence covered me.

The moment that I reached for Him,

His Mercy set me Free.

AMEN

Faithful Recovery is a publication for those entering and continuing their recovery journey.

Addiction robs you of peace; your life revolves around the very thing destroying you. I know. I lived it for over thirty years. Addiction didn’t get the last word in my story; God did. He wrote a new story from the ashes. He’s waiting to write yours too.

If you’re struggling with addiction of any kind, you’re welcome here. You’re not alone in your journey.

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IT WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION