SO CLOSE

Approaching the threshold is not the same as crossing it. So close is not close enough.

He’d been at it a long time. A leader to his people. No longer a young man, but one renowned for his wisdom and virtue. He came so close.

He thought he knew the Law. Had adhered to it. Preached it. Lived by it. Risen to prominence. Stood at the threshold of obedience. What more could he learn?

He was comfortable in his life. In the wealth he’d accumulated. Safe in his family’s bosom.

But the One sent. The One who is the Law asked more of him. 

And so he came. Under the cover of darkness, and stood at the threshold, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with Him.”

And Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

This confused him. “How can someone be born when they are old?”

Again, Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.”

Nicodemus sat face-to-face with the Messiah.

The one he’d waited for, preached about, and thought he understood. And still, he could not reconcile Jesus’ words with what he thought he knew. 

Jesus beckoned him to step out of the comfort zone that defined his life. Called him to follow. 

He was offered the light. But, poised at the threshold, he could not grasp it. He came so close, but could go no further.

Nicodemus was a man of great honor and influence. Entirely rooted in Jewish Law, he nonetheless recognizes who Jesus is — the fulfillment of the Law. In The Chosen, Season 1, Episode 8, we witness Nicodemus and Jesus as they meet. We watch as Jesus asks Nicodemus to follow Him. And we see Nicodemus struggle. Should he walk away from all he knows to follow Christ proclaiming truths about a kingdom he could not fully grasp? In Episode 9, we see Jesus and the apostles preparing to depart. We also witness Nicodemus around the corner in agony — knowing the invitation has been offered — knowing he won’t take it. Instead, Nicodemus has left an offering, a bag of coins, to support Jesus’s ministry. Jesus knows Nicodemus is there. Knows the turmoil of his heart, and whispers, “You came so close.”

Word on Fire.org

So close is a place we all cling to.

It’s familiar and therefore safe. We convinced ourselves that just enough is enough. That our lukewarm prayers and softly whispered hymns of praise fulfill our duty as believers.

We give what we can. Satisfied that our second fruits are enough. That a few coins dropped into the offering basket satisfy our debt.

We come so close.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Jesus asks us to take up our cross and follow Him.

The cross is heavy. Bearing it takes courage. The road isn’t easy. It was never meant to be. 

Across the threshold is where truth lives. And so close is not enough.

We’re called to give all to the One who gave all.

I struggle with this too. Know what’s asked of me. Still, I stumble at the threshold.

Desire is not action. Lukewarm is not obedience. The cover of darkness does not shield us from the light.

Nicodemus was not a bad person. Neither are we. Jesus recognized his weakness and asked him to trust.

He asks the same of us. 

Because He knows. One day we’ll meet Him face-to-face. We’ll stand at the threshold, longing to enter into the light.

That is the moment. The one that will define our eternity.

What words will we hear?

“Welcome, my good and faithful servant.” Or, “You were so close.”

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JN Fenwick (©2025) | mothjournal14 | All rights reserved. | I DO NOT WALK THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY ALONE.

I’m JN Fenwick.

Wife, mom, but more importantly, a recovering alcoholic with a grateful heart. For years, I struggled, not just with alcohol, but with an eating disorder and the burdens of guilt and shame. On March 22, 2018, I surrendered my life to Christ. I was 51. God did not forsake me. He welcomed me, as undeserving as I am. He did not see my brokenness. Instead, He saw my potential. My Recovery Journey is one of Faith. From the ashes of my failures, God built a fire in me. A fire that guides each step I take. My journey is yours. My healing can be yours, too. God is a mighty warrior. You can take comfort in the promise that the Lord will fight for you and grant you peace. | Exodus 14:14.