When I think of the ocean, it is fathomless and deep. God’s mercy is an ocean and we are invited into its depths.
This past weekend, my husband and I along with two of our siblings and their spouses, visited the Casa Maria Retreat House in Irondale, Alabama.
My sister, Laura, and her husband, Jim, invited us months ago. We had no idea what to expect. That in itself turned out to be a gift.
A weekend of affirmation and renewal.
We were called to step out in faith.
I think, not knowing what we would experience beforehand opened us to the richness and the fullness of the gift of Casa Maria.
Isn’t that the beauty of God’s mercy and grace? We never truly reach for it until we need it. Likewise, we never truly open ourselves to its depths until we’re drowning in the darkness of our suffering.
For me, this weekend was an affirmation of faith. A reminder of the promise I made almost eight years ago when my recovery journey first began.
Eight years ago I surrendered my life to Christ.
Through decades of addiction and self-destruction, I failed to grasp the light of truth God so patiently placed before me.
I suffered because I held so tightly to my illusions of self and the world rather than relinquishing my grip. In my weakness, I failed to acknowledge the ocean of mercy beckoning me just beyond the shores of my despair.
I was drowning without ever having left the shore. I was too afraid because I had too little faith.

God’s mercy is an ocean.
God never left me, though I turned my back on Him countless times. He waited patiently and lovingly for me to come to Him. The moment I did, He met me, just as I was.
He invited me fully into the ocean of His mercy and covered me in His grace. He offered me shelter in the storm and light in my darkness.
I WAS OVERCOME.
That was His purpose: To show me the way to overcome myself.

In the depths of my despair, I met God in a very personal and intimate way.
For the first time in my life, I experienced the deepness of God’s love for me. I experienced His longing for me. His thirst for me.
In surrender, I felt His presence within me and I understood, that He had always been there. The ocean of His mercy had always been there. But, I had to choose Him. I had to choose to let go. To allow His presence within me to overcome my grip on myself, my need for control, and all the layers of shame that covered me.
In surrender, I left the shore and stepped into the ocean of His mercy where I was saved.
AN OCEAN OF MERCY
There is an OCEAN,
filled with MERCY,
and with GRACE.
Unboundless,
and unlimited,
where every soul can bathe,
in the NEARNESS,
and the POWER,
of our Father’s LIGHT and TRUTH.
Wade into the depths of PEACE.
Abiding LOVE will cover you.
Relinquish every burden,
as you step upon the shore.
With your eyes upon the heavens,
find the rest you’re searching for.
In the OCEAN of His MERCY.
In the sea of His EMBRACE.
In the shelter of His PROMISE,
He will meet you face to face.
There is an OCEAN,
filled with MERCY,
and with GRACE.
Where every soul who enters,
in His PERFECT LOVE is saved.
Through the gift of the TRINITY,
shines the lasting LIGHT of TRUTH.
Wade into the depths of PEACE.
Abiding LOVE will cover you.
JN Fenwick (© 2024-2025)
JN Fenwick (©2025) | mothjournal14 | All rights reserved. | I DO NOT WALK THIS RECOVERY JOURNEY ALONE.

Wife, mom, but more importantly, a recovering alcoholic with a grateful heart. For years, I struggled, not just with alcohol, but with an eating disorder and the burdens of guilt and shame. On March 22, 2018, I surrendered my life to Christ. I was 51. God did not forsake me. He welcomed me, as undeserving as I am. He did not see my brokenness. Instead, He saw my potential. My Recovery Journey is one of Faith. From the ashes of my failures, God built a fire in me. A fire that guides each step I take. My journey is yours. My healing can be yours, too. God is a mighty warrior. You can take comfort in the promise that the Lord will fight for you and grant you peace. | Exodus 14:14.
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